The laboratory of Tears.

Ten days ago, if I knew what I am about to share with you, I would not have had the regrets that haunted me from then, nor the inexplicable lingering burden from which I could not weave free. It is with sorrow therefore that I share with you this message on the prayer of tears, as I have learned it from the Lord. I shall tell the rest of my story in later lines.

Sometime ago, I got puzzled by something I read in the Psalms, to the effect that God has a bottle, or bottles, in which He stores the tears of His people. I wondered to myself, “What does God do with the tears in His bottles? Is there a library or laboratory in heaven, with our tears in beakers and cylinders?” It occurred to me that each teardrop is a microchip of those unspeakable emotions that generated the tear; that each teardrop is a coded material summation of the intangible and inarticulable turmoils that compelled it. I suppose that each time God picks up those bottles in His prayer laboratory, He reads the ripples of pain in them; He hears from them the echoes of those prayers, those pains, those aspirations that the crying person was unable to put into words. He decodes from them those requests and emotions expressible only in the language of tears, like the prayer language of the Holy Spirit, according to Romans 8:26-27.

Bible scholars tell us that the metaphor of tears in a bottle derives from the ancient Eastern practice whereby mourners saved their tears in a bottle, in memory of the dead. At other times, if someone was sick, afflicted, or in great distress, their friends often visited them with a tear bottle, called a lachrymator. As the sufferer wept and the tears rolled down the cheeks, they were collected into the bottle and kept in memory of that tribulation. Each time one looked at that bottle, it became a reminder. Such ornate bottles decorated homes in Egypt and in Rome.

Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book? (Psalm 56:8).

2. The language of Tears

Nobody can fully interpret tears, even as no one can perfectly translate any one language into another. The specialists tell us so. However, tears have a language of their own that is universal. Every human being speaks the language of tears. Whatever strange native language somebody speaks, when they cry, we seem to understand the common language of pain or joy that their tears express.

I do not speak Japanese, but when I see the Japanese woman weeping for her 2-year old son crushed in an earthquake, I understand that she is not celebrating a lottery of a million yens that she has won. When I see the Korean grandfather weeping for a baby shot dead by a crazy gunman, I understand that he is not celebrating a birthday. He is speaking in a language too deep for words; a language best understood only by God; a language analogous to the prayer language of the Holy Spirit, according to Romans 8:26-27:

26 At the same time the Spirit also helps us in our weakness, because we don't know how to pray for what we need. But the Spirit intercedes...with our groans that cannot be expressed in words.

27 The one who searches our hearts knows what the Spirit has in mind. The Spirit intercedes for God's people the way God wants him to (Romans 8:26-27, GOD'S WORD).

The New American Standard Bible describes this prayer as “groanings too deep for words.” According to the New International Version, it is groans that words cannot express.” I think it makes sense to me, otherwise tell me, what is the meaning of the repeated cry of “Ahhhh!” that comes from the young woman in Jos who has lost a husband to Islamic jihadists after only six months of a pleasant marriage? How does one interpret the moans of “Ooo! Mnnn! Ehhh!” from a pastor in the northern Nigeria city of Bauchi whose church has been burnt down by Muslims, with his wife, four children, and fifteen members in it? Only the Creator who puts our tears in His bottle can fully tell what such groans mean. Only in God's lachrymal laboratory can those wordless wails and tears be fully analyzed and interpreted.

Could this New Testament prayer mystery of inexplicable groans be what the Old Testament Psalmist describes by the metaphor of tears in a bottle? Perhaps. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, the French writer, remarks knowingly in The Little Prince, “It is such a secret place, the land of tears.”

3. The logbook of Tears

God not only has a bottle for tears, He also keeps a logbook for the tears; a logbook recording who wept what tears, when, why, on account of what or whom.

“…My tears… are they not in thy book?” Malachi calls that logbook the “book of remembrance:”

…the LORD listened and heard them; So a book of remembrance was written before Him for those who fear the LORD, And who meditate on His name (Malachi 3:16, NKJV).

Do tears mean so much to God, that He should take such pains to document and catalogue and preserve them? Yes. With God, there are no wasted tears. John Webster the English playwright says in The White Devil, “There's nothing sooner dry than women's tears.” That may be true about some tears, but not all. Tears shed before the Lord do not “sooner dry.” Hannah's tears did not. They gave her a son and still stand recorded in the greatest ever book, the Holy Bible.

Every tear is documented, in His book; and the day comes, probably not as soon as one expects, when He shall read the book and reply to the tears (Luke 18:1-7; Esther 6:1-11). For example, after about 400 years of exile in Egypt, God appeared to Moses and said to him about the slaving Israelites, “I have surely seen the affliction of my people which are in Egypt, and have heard their cry… And I am come down to deliver them” (Exodus 3:7-8). God was recalling tears.

4. The Weapon of Tears

Not only does God save tears; not only does He record and read them; the next verse tells us something even more strange, that tears are a weapon:

When I cry unto thee, THEN shall mine enemies turn back: this I know; for God is for me (Psalm 56:9).

Some enemies may never be turned back except by the prayer of tears. Some enemies may never be overcome until we are at the place of tears. However, not every tear wins the war. The passage makes that clear. It speaks of tears “unto” God, not those shed in pity for ourselves or as a means of manipulating a husband or a mother or anybody. It says, “When I cry unto thee....” Some tears, though profuse, have been futile, because they were not “unto” God (Hebrews 5:7; 1 Samuel 1:10). Learn to turn your tears to God, then wait and watch what He will do.

As anointed a prophet as Jeremiah was, he learned to use the instrument of tears so much that it got into his title: The Weeping Prophet. His second book, Lamentations, says it both in the title and in the content.

Mine eyes do fail with tears, my bowels are troubled, my liver is poured upon the earth, for the destruction of the daughter of my people... (Lamentations 2:11).

Jesus Himself also wept, publicly, at least on three recorded occasions: at the tomb of Lazarus (John 11:35), over the blind city of Jerusalem that, oblivious of its glorious season of divine visitation, was heading for imminent trouble (Luke 19:41-44), and probably in the Garden of Gethsemane, in His high priestly capacity, as told in Hebrews 5:6-8:

6 As he saith also in another place, Thou art a priest for ever after the order of Melchisedec.

7 Who in the days of his flesh, when he had offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto him that was able to save him from death, and was heard in that he feared;

8 Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered (Hebrews 5:6-8).

Talking with a friend three days ago as we studied the book of Hebrews in preparation for a retreat, he read this passage to me, stressing that even Jesus the Son of God wept. It touched me deeply, especially (I told him) as it reminded me of my failure of tears only a few days before. (I shall tell the story in later lines.) He proceeded to show that even “the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now” (Romans 8:22), and added that such was also Paul's prayer life: “My little children, of whom I travail in birth again until Christ be formed in you” (Galatians 4:19).

Once upon a time, trouble was coming upon Jerusalem. The enemy had planned to litter the streets with the corpses of young people, which was going to make mothers to cry. God thus advised the Weeping Prophet himself on what to do. He was to confront the coming plot with the weapon of tears, yet not his male prophetic tears but those of women who needed to weep in prayers then, so as not to weep in sorrow later for their children slain.

17 Thus saith the LORD of hosts, Consider ye, and call for the mourning women, that they may come...

18 And let them make haste, and take up a wailing for us, that our eyes may run down with tears, and our eyelids gush out with waters.

19 For a voice of wailing is heard out of Zion, How are we spoiled! ...

20 Yet hear the word of the LORD, O ye women... teach your daughters wailing, and every one her neighbour lamentation.

21 For death is come up into our windows, and is entered into our palaces, to cut off the children from without, and the young men from the streets (Jeremiah 9:17-21).

In The Living Bible, we read,

The Lord Almighty says: "Send for the mourners! Quick! Begin your crying! Let the tears flow from your eyes (Jeremiah 9:17-18).

What is there in tears that even God has to recommend them to the prophet Jeremiah, as a means of saving his land? Only He knows.

5. The Force of Tear

Not only have feeble tears won battles, they have also wrought deliverance. In other words, they have not only defeated enemies, they have also broken the chains of captivity. We see it hinted at in God's point of view on how the deliverance of the Israelites came about:

7 And the LORD said, I have surely seen the affliction of my people which are in Egypt, and have heard their cry (from which tears I decode that the cry is] by reason of their taskmasters; for I know their sorrows;

8 And I am come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians, and to bring them up out of that land unto a good land and a large, unto a land flowing with milk and honey….

9 Now therefore, behold, the cry of the children of Israel is come unto me: and I have also seen [through the tears analyzed in my laboratory] the oppression wherewith the Egyptians oppress them.

10 Come now therefore, and I will send thee unto Pharaoh, that thou mayest bring forth my people the children of Israel out of Egypt (Exodus 3:7-10).

Some salvation will come only through tears, for, according to Psalm 145:19, “...He also will hear their cry and save them” (NKJV). Of Hannah the mother of the prophet Samuel, we read in 1 Samuel 1:6-10,

6 And her adversary also provoked her sore, for to make her fret, because the LORD had shut up her womb.

7 ...so she provoked her; therefore she wept, and did not eat.

8 Then said Elkanah her husband to her, Hannah, why weepest thou? …

10 And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed unto the LORD, and wept sore.

As she spoke to God in that language of tears, expressing her pains too deep for words, Eli the high priest, not sufficiently familiar with all the ways of God, interrupted her, confronting her with the theological and denominational inappropriateness of her mode of tearful speechless prayers. He misinterpreted it as demonic drunkeness; but this was her reply,

15 …No, my lord, I am a woman of a sorrowful spirit: I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but have poured out my soul before the LORD.

Only then did Eli's eyes open to say,

17 …Go in peace: and the God of Israel grant thee thy petition that thou hast asked of him.

What we read thereafter is her testimony: “and the LORD remembered her” (v.19) and “Hannah... bare a son, and called his name Samuel” (v.20). That was her last barren year; those were her last memorable tears. She broke through with tears, even when her pastor could not understand. It also was the last we read anything of her adversary's merciless provocations.

…When he cries to Me, I will hear, for I am gracious (Exodus 22:27, NKJV).

6. The Therapy of Tears

Besides their spiritual potentials, tears also have other natural therapeutic benefits. Even psychologists acknowledge that they heal their minds who let them flow. Alice Walker the American poet and writer, in Her Blue Body Everything We Know, writes: “Tears left unshed / turn to poison / in the ducts.” As British Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher also confessed in an interview with Woman's World (London), “There are a few times when I get home at night and everything has got on top of me when I shed a few tears, silently, alone.” Even prime ministers cry.

7. The Empty Bottle of Tears

Now my story. Fifteen days ago, I had been scheduled to speak at an annual national women's convention. I had had a session with them the previous day. While I prepared to leave for the meeting that day, I visited one of our offices briefly, and met “breaking news” on the TV. It said that the United Nations office in Abuja, Nigeria, had been suicide bombed. I froze. “Islamic Jihad again,” I moaned within myself. I left for the meeting sad, burdened by the several vicious Islamic attempts at taking Nigeria and the many other nations that they have often terrorized.

As I sat and waited, the women made their elaborate introduction about the “great man of God” that had come again to bless them, then they called me out to preach. I trudged out slowly to the lectern without my Bible, and announced that I was not happy. Their faces suddenly took up an expression, as if to say, “What have we done to make this man of God sad?” I told them that I was not going to stand to preach, but was going to sit on the floor in my lamentation. More surprised, and meaning to be polite, they quickly offered me a chair, which I also politely refused, and proceeded to sit on the floor, and began to tell them of the “breaking news,” in the context of the current Islamic agenda to take the country. The house broke into a spontaneous lamentation. I broke down in tears. For the next hour and more, I could not preach their topic to them. We simply all sat on the floor and wept to God, having moved all the chairs and stacked them by the walls, as we felt urged by the Spirit of God. It was a solemn atmosphere. Mothers, daughters, rich and poor, old and young, rural and city women, we all were on the floor in tears to God.

Five days later, which was ten days ago, I was at another great prayer function of about two thousand women who had come from different churches. I shared with them my burden, telling what had happened five days earlier. I broke down again in tears, but this time, I resisted the tears. I put my tearful head down on the lectern, put the microphone away from my sobbing lips, and wept silently and controllably. The atmosphere suddenly had become electric with the power and presence of God. A few women had dropped to the floor at the burdens that I had shared, and were already lamenting, but I managed to cut it short after a few minutes and wiped my eyes, so I could go on with my preaching. A few more times during the preaching, I nearly broke down again in tears, but I kept managing my emotions.

During the meeting and after, I had the uncomfortable feeling that I had not done right by restraining the spontaneous move into a prayer of tears, simply because I meant to go ahead with my preaching. The meeting went well, and everyone thought that it was a great visitation, but I carried a burden and a guilt I could not explain. It has followed me for days. Only now have I begun to realize that I denied that great congregation the opportunity of an inspired prayer of tears, and that the angels may have gone back with an empty bottle. Perhaps God had already opened His logbook to record the tears and the pains of His people. Perhaps there were enemies that He was about to turn back that day from us as individuals and as a nation, but my male and intellectual head got in the way of the Spirit's visible move. Perhaps some tear bottles now stand empty in God's prayer lab, on account of my failure that day. I regret it. I wish I knew these truths before that day, perhaps we would have raised strategic lamentations that could have added to the missiles for dealing with the encroachments of Islamic darkness that now top the prayer concern of the Church of my age.

Yesterday at a prayer retreat of The Preacher, I made my confessions of this failure. I told them I wished I knew better, ten days ago. We went on to pray. Today, as we worshipped at that retreat, I saw a young woman, lost in His presence, with the tears streaming down her cheeks. She had not been with us yesterday. I wondered that the angels might be taking her tears into God's bottle. The pastor of a large congregation wrote back to say, “It has been some time now since I shed tears in prayers. Thank you for inviting me.”

From The Preacher's diary,

King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)
Thou tellest my wanderings:

put thou my tears into thy bottle:

are they not in thy book?

Perhaps one of the most strangest requests recorded in the Bible, at least to our western minds, is for God to put our tears in His bottle. In the King James version, Psalm 56:8 reads: Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book? Think about it--our tears in God's bottle. What does this mean? I'm sure that all of God's children, from the beginning of time when sin first entered into the world till the present time, have cried oceans and rivers of tears of grief and sorrow as well as tears of happiness and joy. Is Heaven, then, full of bottled tears?

It is a known fact that in Bible lands and other middle eastern countries there was a tradition that when someone died, tears of those present were collected and placed in a bottle. This bottle was considered sacred for it represented all the sorrow of the family and was buried with the deceased. Many of these bottles have been found in ancient tombs. In ancient Rome, mourners filled small glass vials or cups with tears and placed them in burial tombs as symbols of love and respect. Sometimes people were even paid to cry into cups, as they walked along the mourning procession. Those crying the loudest and producing the most tears received the most compensation. The more anguish and tears produced, the more important and valued the deceased person was perceived to be. In some war stories, women were said to have cried into tear bottles and saved them until their husbands returned. Their collected tears would show the men how much they were loved and missed.

So, the psalmist David was not a stranger to the 'Tears in a Bottle' phraseology. I think, that for the most part it is for our benefit that he uses such a strange expression--yet at the same time beautiful, endearing, and even poetic--to let us know that God cares and takes notice of us not only when we cry tears of sorrow, pain, anguish, repentance, confession, and joy but in everything we do and say. God notices all our wanderings in this short earthly pilgrimage of ours. He loves us so much and is ever touched by our burdens, our anguish of heart, and feelings of infirmities.

The New International Bible renders Psalm 56:8 more in keeping with modern-day thought and expression. Here's what it says: Record my lament; list my tears on your scroll--are they not in your record? This document describes the things that are written in the Book of Remembrance, God's exhaustive database, so that we can prepare now to have a part in it.

"A book of remembrance" is written before God, in which are recorded the good deeds of "them that feared the Lord, and that thought upon his name." Mal. 3:16. Their words of faith, their acts of love, are registered in Heaven. Nehemiah refers to this when he says, "Remember me, O my God, . . . and wipe not out my good deeds that I have done for the house of my God." Neh. 13:14. In the book of God's remembrance every deed of righteousness is immortalized. There every temptation resisted, every evil overcome, every word of tender pity expressed, is faithfully chronicled. And every act of sacrifice, every suffering and sorrow endured for Christ's sake, is recorded. --The Great Controversy, Page 481.

The relation between God and each soul is distinct. His care to you is as minute as though there were no other soul to claim his attention. The psalmist says, "Thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. There is not a word in my tongue, but lo, O Lord, Thou knowest it altogether. Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me," "Thou tellest my wanderings; put Thou my tears in thy bottle; are they not in thy book?" In the words of the psalmist is expressed the intimacy and tenderness with which God cares for his creatures. "For we have not an High Priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities, but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." --The Bible Echo, February 1, 1893.

There is an individual work for each one to do. The relation between God and each person is unique and special. The text in Psalm 56:8 is a representation of the unsearchable greatness of God. We can not help but be impressed with his intimate knowledge of all our ways and with the great tenderness expressed for us--the objects of his creation.

Oh, how different are the standards by which God and men measure character. God sees many temptations resisted of which the world and even near friends never know--temptations in the home, in the heart. He sees the soul's humility in view of its own weakness; the sincere repentance over even a thought that is evil. He sees the wholehearted devotion to His service. He has noted the hours of hard battle with self--battle that won the victory. All this God and angels know. A book of remembrance is written before Him for them that fear the Lord and that think upon His name. --Christ's Object Lessons, Pages 403-404.

In every religious movement there are some who, while they cannot deny that the cause is God's, still hold themselves aloof, refusing to make any effort to help. It were well for such ones to remember the record kept on high, --that book in which there are no omissions, no mistakes, and out of which they will be judged. There every neglected opportunity to do service for God is recorded; and there, too, every deed of faith and love is held in everlasting remembrance. --Prophets and Kings, page 639.

God reads the covetous thought in every heart that purposes to withhold from Him. Those who are selfishly neglectful in paying their tithes, and bringing their gifts and offerings to the treasury, God sees. The Lord Jehovah understands it all. As a book of remembrance is written before Him of them that fear the Lord, and that think upon His name, so there is a record kept of all who are appropriating to themselves the gifts which God entrusted to them to use for the salvation of souls.--Counsel on Stewardship, Page 88, 87.

A book of remembrance is written of those who do not forsake the assembling of themselves together, but speak often one to another. The remnant are to overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony. Some expect to overcome alone by the blood of the Lamb, without making any special effort of their own. I saw that God has been merciful in giving us the power of speech. He has given us a tongue, and we are accountable to Him for its use. We should glorify God with our mouth, speaking in honor of the truth and of His unbounded mercy, and overcome by the word of our testimony through the blood of the Lamb.

As the books of record are opened in the judgment, the lives of all who have believed on Jesus come in review before God. Beginning with those who first lived upon the earth, our Advocate presents the cases of each successive generation, and closes with the living. Every name is mentioned, every case closely investigated. Names are accepted, names rejected. When any have sins remaining upon the books of record, unrepented of and unforgiven, their names will be blotted out of the book of life, and the record of their good deeds will be erased from the book of God's remembrance. . .--The Faith I Live By, Page 212.

God declares that even a mother may forget her child, "yet will I not forget thee. . . I have graven thee upon the palms of My hands. . ." God thinks of His children with the tenderest solicitude and keeps a book of remembrance before Him, that He may never forget the children of His care.

The Majesty of heaven identifies His interests with those of the believers, however humble may be their circumstances. And whenever they are privileged to meet together, it is appropriate that they speak often one to another, giving utterance to the gratitude and love that is a result of thinking upon the name of the Lord. Thus shall God be glorified as He hearkens and hears, and the testimony meeting will be considered the most precious of all meetings; for the words spoken are recorded in the book of remembrance. . . --God's Amazing Grace, Page 184.

If Christians would associate together, speaking to each other of the love of God, and of the precious truths of redemption, their own hearts would be refreshed, and they would refresh one another. We may be daily learning more of our heavenly Father, gaining a fresh experience of His grace; then we shall desire to speak of His love; and as we do this, our own hearts will be warmed and encouraged. If we thought and talked more of Jesus and less of self, we should have far more of His presence. --In Heavenly Places, Page 92.

The words to which God and the angels listen with delight are words of appreciation for the great gift that has been made to the world in the only-begotten Son of God. Every word of praise for the blessing of the light of truth . . . is written in the heavenly records. Every word that acknowledges the merciful kindness of our heavenly Father in giving Jesus to take away our sins, and to impute to us His righteousness, is recorded in the book of His remembrance. Testimonies of this kind "shew forth the praises of him who hath called us out of darkness into his marvelous light." 1 Peter 2:9. --Our High Calling, Page 168.

"Then they that feared the Lord spake often one to another: and the Lord hearkened and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before Him for them that feared the Lord, and that thought upon His name. And they shall be Mine, saith the Lord, of hosts, in that day when I make up My jewels; and I will spare them, as a man spareth his own son that serveth him." Isaiah not only beheld the glory of Christ, but he also spake of Him. While David mused, the fire burned; then spake he with his tongue. While he mused upon the wondrous love of God, he could not but speak of that which he saw and felt. Who can by faith behold the wonderful plan of redemption, the glory of the only begotten Son of God, and not speak of it? Who can contemplate that unfathomable love expressed in dying upon the cross of Calvary, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life, and have no words to utter to extol the Saviour's glory? Who can become partakers of His love, and not admire and reverence and adore? --The Present Truth, January 12, 1893.

"They that feared the Lord," writes the prophet Malachi, "spake often one to another; and the Lord harkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the Lord, and that thought upon his name." Were the words spoken, words of complaint, of faultfinding, of self-sympathy?--No; in contrast to those who speak against God, those who fear him speak words of courage, of thankfulness, and of praise. They do not cover the altar of God with tears and lamentations; they come with faces lighted up with the beams of the Sun of Righteousness, and praise God for his goodness.

Such words make all heaven rejoice. Those who utter them may be poor in worldly possessions, but by faithfully giving to God the portion he claims, they acknowledge their indebtedness to him. Self-serving does not make up the chapters of their life-history. In love and gratitude, with songs of joy upon their lips, they bring their offerings to God, saying as did David, Of thine own we freely give thee. . . Let there be silence while you think whether you are among the number that fear the Lord, and that think upon his name. --The Review and Herald, January 5, 1897.

The Saviour devoted more time and labor to healing the afflicted of their maladies than to preaching. His last injunction to his apostles, his representatives on the earth, was that they lay hands on the sick that they might recover. When the Master shall come again, he will commend those who have visited the sick and relieved the necessities of the afflicted. "I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat," he will say to those at his right hand. "I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. . . . Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

Not only will God's people be involved in acts of mercy and their good deeds immortalized in Heaven, but they will be misrepresented in character and persecuted for righteousness' sake here below. Matthew 5:10-12 read: Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

The persecution that God's people will face at the end of time would be the worse ever to be experienced in the history of mankind. And at that time shall Michael stand up, the great prince which standeth for the children of thy people: and there shall be a time of trouble, such as never was since there was a nation even to that same time: and at that time thy people shall be delivered, every one that shall be found written in the book. The oceans of tears of sorrow and anguish of God's people from the beginning of time to the end of time are 'stored' in God's bottle and recorded in His Book for an everlasting remembrance.

Lydia Haga

Tears in a Bottle – Unconditional Love

“You don’t love me!” She cried. “You DON’T love me!” She screamed in pain with tears flowing down her cheeks like a river. The Intercessor trembled as she felt the extreme pain in her heart! She looked up to heaven screaming at her beloved Father. “Why does this have to happen!” “Why!” “WHY!” She took a deep breath and sighed.

This wasn’t the first time she screamed at her Father in Heaven. She knew him to be her Father; she knew Him to be her God; She knew Him to be her Provider; she knew him to be her El Shaddai; she knew Him to be her Elohenu, Adoni, and she knew Him to be her Daddy. When she screams, “You don’t Love me!” This is to her Daddy in Heaven, and she is as a little child. When this happens, it is only when the pressure is too much for her.

Now, it all seemed like too much for her. She longed to go to sleep and never wake up. In her emotional distress she spoke quietly now as her heart ached. “Oh God, when will I be able to fill this deep void within my heart?” It was the deep void, her husband had filled when he was here on this earth for 37 years of marriage and 40 years of being together as they were also high school sweethearts.

Tears once again welled up inside her and spilled over like a flood. She couldn’t prevent them from flowing.

Life seems like a living “hell” when depression and self-pity creeps in. Literally, everything seems too difficult to deal with and is apparently without any solution. Nothing seems to go your way.  You feel hopeless, dejected, and hollow. Everything seems “dark.”

When depression slithers into your life you look at life completely negatively, and it all seems dismal as if you are somehow being punished. Your heart aches and you feel the sting of rejection. Your body seems to have pains it never had before. Nothing seems to go right for you and you feel that God has forsaken you! As unreasonable as it sounds, you know what the Word says about you . . . but you dismiss the truth and believe the melancholy of your soul.  Thoughts like “there is no hope!” hisses in your ears from the enemy and everyone surrounding you willing to be used as a vessel of the enemy. You believe the lies from the enemy, because you are tired of fighting the onslaught of the advisary of your soul.

Desperately, the Intercessor cried out in her agony once again, “Please help me!” “I need you God!” “Please . . . oh please help me!” “Fill this dreadful void in my soul, in my heart!”

Dream:

The Intercessor was flying in the sky watching her brother and sister-in-law driving a car flying in the air. They landed near a house and went in with others to commune with one another. The next thing she knew, she was descending into a great valley.

This valley was unique, however. It was absolutely so beautiful, and filled with energy that became tangible to all her senses with majestic waterfalls and crystal clear rivers. Every golden hue of the valley was exemplified and magnificently “heavenly” in color. The greens were greener and brighter than usual and the sky was bluer than blue; every color was heavenly! There were the sounds of the birds singing joyously and wonderful flowers painted everywhere!  It was a wonderful place to descend to.

It bothered the Intercessor however, that she had to descend into this “valley” as usually a valley is a place of unhappiness in someone’s life. She thought about what was spoken in the Word:

Psalms 23:4

4Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

KJV

Logically, she thought about death. Was she entering finally into some kind of death? How could she be “descending” into such a beautiful place? “Why wasn’t she ascending?” She pondered to herself.

Suddenly, her husband (who is now passed away) appeared to her as young as when they first started going together in high school, but seemed strikingly more handsome and extremely attractive to her. She felt drawn to him as he immediately gathered her into his arms and embraced her. Without hesitation he continued to kiss her with a long beautiful kiss. She felt deeply loved.

She remembered tasting his kiss and it was truly him, for he had his own taste. She felt so loved and acceptable to him. There were no conditions or preconceived sensuality, but the comfort of true unconditional Love and approval. After all the depression, this was a breath of fresh air to her and truly encouraged her when she woke up.

Hosea 2:15.

There I will give back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.

KJV

Tears in A Bottle

Great Hearts can only be made by great troubles . . .

Oh Beloved, don’t you know that the troubles you have endured have caused your heart to soften toward others who are enduring the same things? I am the only One who knows what you will be able to endure and to what extent you cannot endure or handle. You are like clay in My hands, soft and supple as I continue to work the clay to the consistency it must be before I form you into perfection.

You think about the sore troubles you have endured through these many years, and you weep, wondering if you will finally die of a broken heart. I have carried you through, and I have held you close to my bosom during the most troublesome times in your life. Is it not true that you love me? Is it not true that you love me with all your heart, with your entire mind, with all your soul and with all your strength? I am the only One who can know your heart and you’re Love for me. It is I who gave you that gift through all of the adversity, the rejection, and through the many sorrows.

You are not alone my Beloved. You are truly not alone! I am here for you sweet one! I deeply love you with an unfathomable Love that covers you, that holds you forever in My arms. So come to Me precious one, you who are weary and heavy laden . . . and I will truly give you the rest that you so desire and long for. Forget that which is evil and cleave to Me beloved. Cleave to your Husband, who wants to protect you and I will never, never leave you nor forsake you! I am here for you . . . come let us reason together. You have Me, the Lord of Hosts! You have Me, your Ishi! You have Me, your best friend!  I am yours. I am your Creator! I am the Creator of the Universe! I am your Daddy! I am your Ruach HaKodesh - Ima, your Comforter who comforts you in your afflictions! I am everything for you! You are not alone! You will never be alone My daughter, my princess, the apple of My eye!

Your desire and request to be Holy as I am Holy is granted, Beloved! Your request to be filled with the Oil of My Spirit is granted! Your request to be an overcomer is granted! Your desire to have My fruit is granted! Hear this, Beloved! I give perfect gifts to those who truly desire the great things that can only come from Me . . . the Great I am! Your requests are granted! Forget the reproach of your widowhood for your husband is your Maker. The Lord of Hosts is My name!

Most sincerely yours,

Jesus

Matthew 11:28

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.

KJV

Hebrews 13:5-6

5Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

6So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

Psalms 37:4

Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

Jeremiah 18:6

O house of Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter? saith the LORD. Behold, as the clay is in the potter's hand, so are ye in mine hand, O house of Israel.

1 Peter 1:15-17

 (KJV)

 15But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation;

 16Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.

Luke 10:27

KJV

 27And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind;

John 14:26

But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

Ezekiel 36:26

A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.

Deuteronomy 6:5

5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.

Deut 10:12 Matt 22:37 Mark 12:30 Luke 10:27

KJV

Matthew 5:48

 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

KJV

Isaiah 54:4-8

4Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more.

 5For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.

 6For the LORD hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God.

 7For a small moment have I forsaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee.

 8In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the LORD thy Redeemer.

Romans 12:21

 21Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

Matthew 25:1-13

1Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom.2And five of them were wise, and five were foolish.3They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them:4But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps.5While the bridegroom tarried , they all slumbered and slept .6And at midnight there was a cry made , Behold , the bridegroom cometh ; go ye out to meet him.7Then all those virgins arose , and trimmed their lamps.8And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out .9But the wise answered , saying , Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell , and buy for yourselves.10And while they went to buy , the bridegroom came ; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut .11Afterward came also the other virgins, saying , Lord, Lord, open to us.12But he answered and said , Verily I say unto you, I know you not.13Watchtherefore, for ye known  either the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.

Psalms 56:8-13

8Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?

9When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back: this I know; for God isfor me.

10In God will I praise his word: in the LORD will I praise his word.

11In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me.

12Thy vows areupon me, O God: I will render praises unto thee.

13For thou hast delivered my soul from death: wilt not thou deliver my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of the living?

KJV