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We Must Suffer With Him?

By Miss Shelly

No one wants to accept the fact that maybe God may have a hand in all this, well frankly, pain and suffering we all go through. Whether it be a loss of a loved one, or suffering from sickness or disease like cancer, or betrayal and abuse from those closest to you; we always wonder why God has “allowed” these things to happen.  It doesn’t make any common sense! We say, “Your will be done . . . Thy kingdom come,” nonchalantly, but when it comes to suffering and affliction in our bodies, or betrayal and abuse, or loss of a loved one, we are angry and don’t want to accept it! And, by all means, how dare God do or have anything to do with it!  Our cry is “Why God?” “Why would a loving God allow this to happen?”

There is a suffering that comes with the consequences of our actions here on earth, and we must remember that there are always consequences for God is a God of Justice and Righteousness, which is the foundation of His Throne.  It’s one of the laws of the universe; whether we like it or not. God will have the last say . . .

There is a deeper meaning to our inconsequential sufferings, however. So deep it can be hard to comprehend. It’s spiritual. It’s persecution in its purest form. It’s persecution directly from the enemy. It’s a stolen opportunity to abuse you. How can it be? The enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy! The truth is, we cannot live our lives here on this earth without the Lord! 

Understand it very clearly, God did not do this . . . or did He? Why would a loving God allow this to happen! Remember His ways are not our ways, and far more deeper than we can imagine! Let’s get out of the box!

It doesn’t matter that the outcome most likely will make you stronger and more compassionate.  It has served a purpose even though it doesn’t make any sense why a loving God would allow this.  So in the midst of it all, you cry again, “Why God?”  

We must remember that the horrible tormenting things that happened to Jesus served a purpose.  Get a grasp of what this all about! They can’t get away with it! The pain and suffering will be turned to nothing but good. It’s a revelation. 

Isaiah 53:10 King James Version (KJV)

10 Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand. 

Isaiah 53:5-8

5But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. 6All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. 7He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth. 8He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? For he was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken.

We always skip over the above.  How can Father God want His son to suffer like that?  It really doesn’t make any sense logically.  This is the “elephant in the room” no one wants to talk about!  How can pain and suffering be “good?” “Turn the other cheek?” “What is that all about?”

I hate the lie that once you receive Christ, everything will go great for you! No, you become a target, especially if you serve Him.  We learn over the years, how to overcome the wiles of the devil through prayer and drawing close to the Lord.  The Lord will show us through His Word how to fight and win! We become “overcomers by the blood of the Lamb, and the word of our testimony!”  

Proverbs 3:5-6 King James Version (KJV)

5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Like you beloved reader, Jesus suffered and was grieved by what He saw and what happened to Him.  He ultimately died of a broken heart.  So He is the expert on a broken heart beloved. He was there when you suffered.  You may not know it, but He was there. It may take a whole lifetime. We just have to give Him our burdens and trust Him each day. “Easier said than done!”

Isaiah 53:2-8 KJV

2For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. 3He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. 4Surely he hath borne our grief’s, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

So, are you despised by others and rejected? Are you a man or woman of sorrows and acquainted with grief? 

One morning, the Intercessor had a conversation with the Lord, but did not expect His response.

“I want so much to be intimate with You Lord!” the Intercessor proclaimed. 

“You are my beloved.” He responded.

“How’s that?”

“Intimacy can mean suffering with Me in all your afflictions, in all your sufferings, and in all your betrayal that you have gone through.”   

“How else will you have a taste of what I went through myself?” “We are intimate beloved!” “Can you see it?”  Her thought soared back in the last almost 7 years.

Experiencing a little of what He went through and going through pain and suffering such as the loss of her husband 7+ years ago and experiencing the tremendous grief that comes with this kind of loss; wondering if it would ever end has caused her to truly understand!  The Intercessor was betrayed and abandoned like most widows. She went through so much loneliness and suffering from her broken heart.  And, she almost died of a “broken heart syndrome.” But she heard the Lord tell her to go to the cardiologist that morning.  She already had a small hole in her heart.  Well, then her heart failed and she collapsed in the doctor’s office and it just so happened that the hospital was right next-door.

Not only that, later, she found out that she had cancer!” How much could she take! Only those who hear the words, “you have breast cancer,” can understand what goes through your mind. She accepted her fate and prepared herself to die just like her two sisters who have passed on, until she heard the Lord say, “I will receive all the glory!”  

“But wait!” “Don’t I have a right to say, ‘Time out!’” “This isn’t fair!” “I just lost my husband!” “Now here I am with breast cancer!” “What is going on?” “Why?” “Why me?” She cried as self-pity crept in, as she opened the door for the snake to whisper in her ear, “How can a loving God do this?” She believed the lies.

Beyond natural reasoning, is when you must choose to rise above the circumstances and see it from the approach of heaven, Lord willing.  When you go through tremendous things yourself and then look at the cross, and His suffering, betrayal, abandonment and sorrow, you have a deeper compassion for Him, and you realize in fact, you are indeed intimate with your Savior, the Lamb of God. It’s a different level of understanding and comprehension beloved reader. “Can you see it?”

It can be a convergence of the natural with the spiritual.  The Intercessor is seeing the Kingdom of Heaven, and the natural coming together and becoming one like it did when Elisha was here and he saw the myriads of angels to war on his behalf. Or when Jesus was here on earth and Heaven came down, and He performed many miracles while He was here on earth. Heaven converged with Earth through the Holy Spirit, and miracles happened. It’s very strange. 

 “Can you see the significance of every single drop of blood shed from His body?” 

She heard her Lord speak.  “There’s Life in the Blood.” The importance of the breaking of His heart becomes revelation today, a convergence of 2000 years ago, with Heaven and with Earth.  “Oh yes, beloved, He understands what you are going through!”

The veil is being removed and revelation is coming as the Ancient of Days reveals it, because she is now having a vision!

Vision

Heaven opened wide it’s gates.  It’s an extremely somber atmosphere right now.  Very humbling! In the presence of the King of kings, Lord of lords! Words cannot express the depths how this visit to the very throne of Grace and the embrace of the Love of God through His presence, the words were heard throughout heaven and earth, “Holy . . . Holy . . . Holy!  All anyone could do was try to get as low as they could in His presence! You are undone! The Intercessor WAS UNDONE! All around her she could feel His Most Holy Presence! You will cry out for mercy and tremble, tremble, tremble as she did! 

Oh if she could only get “lower.” Then you would cry for the coals on that alter to cleanse your lips for you knew you were unclean; A woman of unclean lips! She felt so unworthy to be there! If she could sink deep into her bed she would.  The Intercessor worshiped Him with all her being; with all that she had within her! He was and is everything to her!  She didn’t want to leave Heaven and live on earth without Him! Without Him she knew she was absolutely nothing but dust!  “Let Heaven invade earth!” “Thy Kingdom come!”

Now she saw her Beloved stumbling in Jerusalem 2000 years ago, all bruised and bloody, carrying the cross to the hill of the skull.  She heard His breathing heavily and almost felt the warm drips of His blood fall on the ground, as He walked slowly toward Golgotha.  She saw one drop and looked closely.  It was filled with the universe.  Another drop revealed chaos and destruction in the earth. The Blood that He shed was for the past, the present, and the future people whose names are written in the Lamb’s Book of Life.

The sounds of the people surrounding Him, as He stumbled were muffled.  Once and a while the words vehemently spewed out, “Crucify Him” would come forward, and take the stage for a brief moment; But for the most part, His tremendous suffering and pain stood out to her.  She could tell that He was in tremendous pain both physically and emotionally. She felt helpless!  “How can He step forward?” She thought. He is carrying her sins and the sins of the world!  All hell broke loose against her Beloved.  The demonic world laughed mockingly at the Son of God that day as He carried His cross! They believed their own deception that they would not have to deal with this “Man” ever again!  Tears streamed down her cheeks in great compassion. She felt completely helpless.  The pain that He was feeling stood out with every Holy step.  It was so painful to watch.

She recognized it.  She closed her eyes as if that would help.  They hated Him without reason.  She had been hated for no reason.  She remembered this as a child and later as a princess at homecoming. Who was this “new” girl who was voted to be princess at her high school. She was so shy.  She didn’t want all this attention.  The popular girls hated her.  Oh and she “knew” rejection, when her daddy put her and her older sister in an orphanage when she was born.

The people surrounding her Lord had become vessels of satan as they shrieked disdainfully, “Crucify Him!” He was unrecognizable as His body screamed out in pain in response to being beaten, bruised, chastised, and bleeding. His heart broken as He so much LOVED the ones screaming in His ears, even those who beat and bruised Him.  Have you been abused by a loved one?  It doesn’t make sense to your brain, when they scream at you and  . . . do the abuse.  “I don’t want to talk about it!” But you who have been abused know.  We are damaged.

Then to her amazement, the Intercessor saw that there was a processional with dancing going before Him on the way to the Cross!  “Huh?” You could barely see them. They were almost invisible.  It was “celebration” from another dimension!

“What?” People from Heaven were celebrating before the Lord on the pathway to the cross! “How could this be?” She whispered.  

Picture this; The Intercessor was back in Jerusalem as part of the crowd watching Jesus, her Beloved, carrying the Cross-toward Golgotha 2000 years ago, yet at the same time Heaven had converged and celebrated this Great Event on the way to the cross! God wanted her to see that in reality the death, and resurrection of the Cross was a very good thing! For without this event, she and the whole earth could not be reconciled back to the Father in Heaven and live with Him forever! 

“It was so pleasing to the Father!” She heard.

Let me get this clear! It was like the celebration was here on earth. She saw worshippers dancing before His procession to the place of death from another dimension.  Heaven on earth, celebrating the Cross! It was like what’s going on now with what happened 2000 years ago for the world!  A convergence of today and back then when He was so alone! All of Heaven was there! There is always a celebration in Heaven! It was the most significant event of the Universe!!!

The presence of the Lord was so strong! The Intercessor was shaking like a leaf trembling with her teeth chattering! She couldn’t control her body at this time!  His Holy presence embracing her was too much! It was the grief, the pain she saw, and His Presence all at once and she was undone!  Could she even truly comprehend what was really happening? 

It was like the procession of crossing over the Jordan into the Promised Land beginning with the worshipers first!  Jesus was crossing over from death to life everlasting taking the keys of death, hell and grave with Him! He was transformed when He rose from the dead! Oh death, where is your sting? We are crossing over from death to life!  “Oh God thank you for this revelation!” How could it be? The pain and the suffering that she went through!  She felt the Truth pass by and grabbed her as she embraced it.  What a revelation!

“There is only One found worthy!” Yet, she was invited to intimacy with Him! She was His Bride! We are the Bride of Christ! She felt completely accepted, forgiven and cleansed by the Blood shed for her at the Cross! She remembers her past . . .

Baptism . . .

The River Jordan

 The River Jordan unfolds a backdrop to many historical events in the Bible. One may think of the Jordan plain that was plush, green, and fertile, for which Lot chose to live before the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. One’s memory delights in remembering the miracle of the crossing of the people of Israel on dry land in the Jordan River to possess the Promised Land. Take great enjoyment thinking about Naaman dipping in the River Jordan seven times, coming out totally healed of the dreaded leprosy.

 What joy in seeing in the mind’s eye, the miracle of Yeshua baptized in the River Jordan and coming up. It thrills us all to imagine the white Dove descending upon Him and Father God speaking the most powerful words of proclaiming His approval from Heaven! Yes, one could hear the deep, deep majestic voice of our Daddy in Heaven with such authority! So in conclusion, it would seem that anyone traveling to Israel must have on their "to do" list, "baptism in the River Jordan."

Therefore, the Intercessor and her family chose to be baptized in the Jordan River on their trip to Israel. As the buss dropped off the sightseers, they all quickly moved up to the fence to see the famous Jordan River . . . the same for which their Savior was baptized in. What a thrill it was to be at that very same river! As you looked down at the slow moving greenish brown colored river, you could see the extremely large catfish resting on the bottom.

“They are huge” she gasped, a bit intimidated at their size. The Intercessor would take a deep breath in gathering up her courage to go into the depths of the Jordan with these docile and harmless giants. This was too good of an opportunity to pass up, despite their horrendous size!

This was one of the highlights of the whole trip as the Intercessor and her husband decided to renew their wedding vows in the Jordan as well. They needed to.  She remembered, the pastor proclaiming that the bad memories of the past were to flow down the river to “be remembered no more.” The flow of tears that day was tremendous! This time, this was tears of joy instead of grief because her husband and she was reconciled to one another. 

Dream:

The Intercessor was back at the River Jordan where she was baptized on one of her trips to Israel. In fact, it was the very same place! As she looked to see the face of her pastor, she was unexpectedly surprised to find it was not her pastor at all, performing the baptism! It was Jesus, her Beloved!

In addition, if you looked closer at the river, you would see that it was no longer green but Blood red! Yes, it was flowing with the Blood of Christ. As she submitted herself to her beloved Savior, He proceeded to baptize her . . . not once, not twice, but seven times in the Jordan River! Dream ends. 

It has been almost 7 years since her husband passed away.  She has experienced so much adversity and pain these years.  Once she heard her Lord say, “Seven times hotter!” Each year brought a “new” excruciating thing.  From her husband’s death to abandonment of her friends and family (except her son and daughter), to almost dying of a broken heart syndrome.  She had 100 letters sent to her by a lawyer about foreclosing her home that she loved.  Her daughter and she lived in the building that they owned without a shower or kitchen for two years.  The city tried to take the building through lies and deceit.  She found out she had breast cancer and for two years through surgeries, chemotherapy, and radiation she finally overcame.  Now she has been diagnosed with type 2 Diabetes from the chemo and steroids they gave her.  And lastly, she found out that the tomaxifen drug she must take for 5 years causes cancer in her uterus.  She will soon have a complete hysterectomy.  

But, it was 7 years this last January 18th.  Could this be the end of the baptism by fire? She knows she is much stronger now from this entire affliction. 

Revelation of His Blood and the power of His Blood are being released to His Bride! Healing and Deliverance through increased faith in the power of His Blood is coming to cleanse the Bride of Christ! As the enemy has come in like a flood, the Lord is raising the standard, and the standard is His Blood and His Word! He is covering us with His Blood! He is cleansing us of all unrighteousness! He has fought those battles for her as she cried out to Him in her dismay.  So allow Him to finish His work beloved!

 Allow Him to circumcise your hearts in preparation to the crossing over. The time to cross over into the Promised Land is upon us! Are you submitted, and totally surrendered to Christ? Then resist the devil, and he must flee! Therefore, the Battle belongs to the Lord (of Hosts)! Only the Blood and the Word (the sword of the Spirit) can protect us from the wiles of the devil, as we submit and enter into our rest ceasing from our own works as God did from His.  Trust in Him beloved, lean not unto your own understanding, in all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.  It’s deep, so very deep.  

 We are the overcoming church of our Lord and Savior Yeshua Ha Mashiach (Jesus the Christ)! Dwell in the light of the Word of God, fellowship with God and Jesus and His Blood will cleanse you of all unrighteousness! Strongholds are coming down! Sickness and disease will no longer overtake His precious Bride! Allow the gift of repentance to come into your home as it is being released in the heavenlies! The cry for repentance is at hand! Praise and Glory is to God our Father! 

2Ki 5:14

Then went he down, and dipped himself seven times in Jordan, according to the saying of the man of God: and his flesh came again like unto the flesh of a little child, and he was clean.

Ezekiel 16:8

Now when I passed by thee, and looked upon thee, behold, thy time [was] the time of love; and I spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy nakedness: yea, I sware unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Lord GOD, and thou becamest mine.

Hebrews 9:12

Neither by the blood of goats and calves, but by his own blood he entered in once into the holy place, having obtained eternal redemption [for us].

KJV

Hebrews 9:22

And almost all things are by the law purged with blood; and without shedding of blood is no remission.

KJV

Revelation 12:11

And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.

KJV

Isaiah 53:5

But he [was] wounded for our transgressions, [he was] bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace [was] upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

KJV 

Romans 5:8

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

KJV 

Romans 5:9

Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.

KJV 

Romans 6:3

Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death? 

Romans 6:4

Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

Romans 6:5

For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also [in the likeness] of [his] resurrection: 

Rom 6:6

Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with [him], that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.

Romans 6:7

For he that is dead is freed from sin. 

Romans 6:8

Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him: 

Romans 6:9

Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him. 

Romans 6:10

For in that he died, he died unto sin once: but in that he liveth, he liveth unto God. 

Romans 6:11

Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord. KJV

1John 1:7

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

KJV 

Romans 4:7

[Saying], Blessed [are] they whose iniquities are forgiven, and whose sins are covered.

KJV

The River Jordan originates in the Hills between Mt. Hermon and Mt. Lebanon and travels down through the Sea of Galilee down south to end at the Dead Sea! As the Intercessor was washed seven times, her sins were to go to the Dead Sea to be remembered no more! The Dead Sea is so full of salt that nothing can live in it. Salt cleanses.

SALT, COVENANT OF

An Old Testament expression for an everlasting covenant (Num 18:19). Salt was an important commodity in the ancient world. It was used for seasoning foods as well as to purify and preserve certain substances. Thus, a covenant of salt indicated faithfulness, dependability, and durability.

(from Nelson's Illustrated Bible Dictionary, Copyright © 1986, Thomas Nelson Publishers)

Mark 9:49-50

49 For every one shall be salted with fire, and every sacrifice shall be salted with salt.

50 Salt is good: but if the salt have lost his saltness, wherewith will ye season it? Have salt in yourselves, and have peace one with another.

KJV

Hebrews 8:12-13

12 For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more .

13 In that he saith, A new covenant, he hath made the first old. Now that which decayeth and waxeth old is ready to vanish away.

KJV

Hebrews 10:17-25

17 And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more .

18 Now where remission of these is, there is no more offering for sin.

19 Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus,

20 By a new and living way, which he hath consecrated for us, through the veil, that is to say, his flesh;

21 And having an high priest over the house of God;

22 Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water.

23 Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;)

24 And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:

25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

KJV

Now, there appeared a crown on her head, and all she could do was literally throw it down before Him who sits on the throne!  So unworthy! It was like His Kingdom is coming closer to this earth! It’s on its way! God loves us so much He wants to be with us! A portal open for His Bride!

“Thy Kingdom Come, Thy will be done!” She proclaimed.

His Spirit let her know that all this pain and suffering she had been going through was supernaturally, and spiritually significant and in a strange weird way to her spiritual intellect, “Holy!” How could this be! “How could this be?” She exclaimed. It didn’t make any sense to her logical mind! So deep!

“How could this be?” She cried. Oh how she so deeply LOVED Him, whom her heart desires more than anything! “Oh God I worship YOU!” She proclaimed as His presence engulfed her.  “I Love You with all my heart, all my mind, all my soul, all my strength!” Tears streaming down her cheeks. She responded. “In You I exist!” “In You I live and have my being!” “My hope is only in YOU!”  “Oh God, You are my hiding place!”  “I WORSHIP YOU!” These words did not do any of it justice! She could barely get the words out!

Then she saw in the spirit again, her beloved Savior, the Lamb of God, walking on the Della via la Rosa covered in His own blood and dripping. She saw each drop fall on the ground with such significance that not one drop of blood was wasted.  It was for you beloved reader.  It was for her! Someday, may we all get a revelation of this!  All she could hear with each step that He took, how Holy . . . Holy . . . Holy  . . . He was and how spiritually (reality) significant every affliction, every bruise (bleeding internally) and every pain and suffering He went through! It was all so HOLY and so pure and so perfect! 

All she could see and feel was this supernatural, overwhelming LOVE of God everywhere! “Why couldn’t they see it?” “Why couldn’t they feel it?! Tears streamed down her face in total response and compassion, as she felt and observed His LOVE toward those who were screaming, “Crucify Him,” with such hatred and disdain toward her precious Beloved Savior! 

Then, it was like she was inside Him, filled with His Love toward all of them! And it hurt so deeply, like the stripes on His back! Yet, she knew it was so Holy . . . Holy . . . Holy! As He took each step slowly toward Golgotha she heard, “Holy!” step “Holy!” step “Holy!” and He took steps, oh so significant and meaningful, slowly, toward the place where He would be crucified, nailing her sins and the sins of the world to that Cross, as His body raked with pain! More tears flooded her soul as she saw it all in the spirit! She wept and she wept and she wept! “So Holy!” “So very Holy!” 

So grateful was she to see this and get a glimpse of the revelation of the ramifications of what the Lamb of God did for you and I!  “So Holy!” “The violent take it by force!” The wicked ones were so deceived! The rock they tried to push on Jesus fell back on them and crushed them!  They were defeated! 

Then He took His last breath as He spoke, “It is finished!”  The sorrow she felt couldn’t compare to the significance this had.

The Intercessor had a revelation of the reality of His path to the altar as the Lamb of God, a living sacrifice for her and the world! 

Now she sees herself as “much afraid” (in the book “Hinds feet in High Places”) on the altar with the pain and suffering she, herself must go through in her life was to serve a most high purpose! Little did she know that she had been laid bare on the altar these last 7 years! With every piercing, every affliction, every betrayal; how it served the highest function for her, for each and every one of us here on this earth!  Pain and suffering whether it be physical or emotional, it was done purposefully. Turned to nothing but good and, oh so Holy because she forgave those who betrayed her! She let it all go into the hands of the only One who could carry these burdens!

God knew what it would take to make us Holy once again from the fall! The acceptance of the Lamb of God, who came in the flesh to suffer and die for our sins! It was the Blood. It was complete surrender and putting our trust deeply in the Lord, and accepting His living sacrifice, even though in this earth it “looked” like He was defeated and abused, betrayed, and distressed with no purpose!  It was His righteousness, not ours! We are tasting that the Lord is “good,” through learning and experiencing a little of what our Beloved went through for us all.  All she could do was cry Holy, Holy, Holy, and cry out for mercy because she was in the presence of the Most High God! “The violent take it by force!”

Finally, after hours, the essence of His presence dissipated, all she wanted to do was try desperately to grasp it all and remember every second of it!  “Oh please God, let me never forget this moment!” She responded.

She didn’t want to leave! The only place she wanted to be was with His unconditional, acceptance of her and lay face forward in the dust, before this most awesome Being filled with the most powerful force in the Universe . . .LOVE! 

So here she is back in her bed, in pain, and feeling the pain of the removal of her port catheter that was used to put the chemotherapy in her body. She was feeling the pain of her arthritic neck and back.  She was feeling the pain of her joints, a side effect from the chemo/radiation therapy.  As she moved her knees and got out of bed, she felt the pain in her joints, as she walked toward her chair at her desk. She must write this down before she forgets! You suffering? Have you been abused? Are you in grief? Well, be exceedingly glad; for so they prosecuted the prophets ahead of you.  You are her “brethren.”

“For it became Him, for whom are all things, and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons unto glory, to make the Captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings.  For both He that sanctifies and they who are sanctified are all of one: for which cause He is not ashamed to call them brethren,”   Hebrews 2:10-11.

John 15 New King James Version (NKJV)

The True Vine

15 “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away;[a] and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.

5 “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. 7 If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will[b] ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. 8 By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.

Love and Joy Perfected

9 “As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. 10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.

11 “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. 12 This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. 14 You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. 15 No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you. 17 These things I command you, that you love one another.

The World’s Hatred

18 “If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. 19 If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. 20 Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you. If they kept My word, they will keep yours also. 21 But all these things they will do to you for My name’s sake, because they do not know Him who sent Me. 22 If I had not come and spoken to them, they would have no sin, but now they have no excuse for their sin. 23 He who hates Me hates My Father also. 24 If I had not done among them the works which no one else did, they would have no sin; but now they have seen and also hated both Me and My Father. 25 But this happened that the word might be fulfilled which is written in their law, ‘They hated Me without a cause.’[c]

The Coming Rejection

26 “But when the Helper comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify of Me. 27 And you also will bear witness, because you have been with Me from the beginning.

King James Version – Galatians 2:20

I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

“I now give myself wholly to You Lord,” she whispered.

(Psalms 42:11 NKJV)

Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me?

Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.

Psalm 34:18

The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

KJV

It's not an accident that you are brought to this web site beloved child of God. Yes, all of us are His children. This website is designed for the broken hearted. . . You!

Whether you have lost a loved one, are terminally ill, fearful, terrified, lonely, rejected, suicidal,  abused, and wounded, be rest assured God sees all. In fact, He actually feels all your pain and suffers with you. No one in this world can do that for you like God the Father, God the Son (Yahshua), and God the Spirit of the Living God--the three are One!

Your tears are collected in a bottle and directly taken to heaven for God to "hear."

King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)

Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?

Psalm 56:8

Take the time to spend with whatever the page the Lord has led you to on the left side of this page.

Each page opens up to a plethra of more pages designed for your healing process. . . if you allow God to heal you! Don't hesitate to look in each one you may be interested with. The Lord has designed this whole website for the Brokenhearted . . . YOU!

He is speaking to you now and wants you to know that He deeply LOVES you with a Love that surpasses all other kinds of "love." You are deeply loved and completely acceptable to Him. His Love covers all your pain, all your suffering, all you . . . especially your Broken Heart!

"Oh My prescious one! I am here for you . . . waiting for you to come to Me because you are weary; Oh so weary and heavy laden! Come to Me in your sorrow, in your pain and suffering! I am  here for you because I deeply, deeply Love you! Can you feel My presence? Draw close to Me beloved! Draw ever so close! I Love  you with such a Love that you can't imagine how much! Pour your heart out to Me! Give Me all your burdens for I care for you and deeply . . . yes, deeply Love you!" 

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A life of Brokenness 

by the Intercessor

As the Intercessor looked dangerously back, she discovers her life was flooded with a river of brokenness . . . from the time she was born till at present, age 64.  Her mother was inflicted with pancreatic cancer when she was conceived. The cancer had spread throughout her mother's body and when the Intercessor was born, her mother stayed in the hospital and died three weeks later.

Back in those days (the 1940's-1950's), many children were put in orphanages in the US and so it was not unusual for her father to put both she and her two-year-old sister in an orphanage as well.  Later, after three years, her father took them out to live with their new mother and other brothers and sisters.

It was a long difficult road as her family of ten (eight kids) struggled to make ends meet. She was poor.  Other children looked condescendingly at her and her third hand clothes, clean but worn out. It was quite challenging to rise above the haughty, pompous attitudes of many of the children at school.

Many years later, once married, the Intercessor's husband had come from a family that drank excessively and partied all the time.  He was already alcoholic and combined other drugs to cover his own sorrow of the day. The only thing that saved him was accepting the Lord Yahshua as Savior which set him free from the bondage of drugs and alcohol. . . He had become a mighty man of God.

. . .And at present, her husband had quietly passed away, when it seemed that the surgery he had was successful and the doctors had expressed the fact that her husband was doing so well and on the road to recovery.  His heart had failed after all the extensive surgery. They had just come home from getting the cathedar finally out and everything looked encouraging. Her husband crawled into bed and took a deep breath and died peacefully. 

In shock, the Intercessor cried out to God to bring him back. When the EMT’s came, she got on her knees to lament, but she heard God clearly say, "let him go!" It was his time to go.

Her life drastically changed over night! 

One day, the Intercessor couldn’t take any more as she cried out to God. “No more God!” “Please . . . no more!”  Tears deluging her soul. 

“Why was I born?” She had cried out in despair, descending down into the dungeon of depression. Deep sorrow had set in. The suffering was more than enough that she thought that she could handle. The pieces of her cracked heart broke open and green slimy smelly self-pity had poured out.

She knew the word however. “God doesn’t give you anything more than you can handle,” whispered in her ears. It was her beloved friend, her comforter, the Holy Spirit (Ruach HaKodesh in Hebrew) speaking quietly to her soul. She recognized the voice, shaking her head in denial grasping onto the voice of the stranger.  “He doesn’t love you!” Hissed the wicked one speaking loud and clear, taking advantage of the excruciating pain she was feeling. Tears flooded her soul as she lamented over her life, choosing to look at only the negative events of her life . . . instead of all the moments the Lord had divinely intervened every time she cried out in despair. When would she learn her lesson? God never left her nor forsook her to this day, even though it appeared that way. 

King James Version 

Hebrews 13:5 - [Let your] conversation [be] without covetousness; [and be] content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

Deuteronomy 31:8 - And the LORD, he [it is] that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.

Deuteronomy 31:6 - Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he [it is] that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.

Hebrews 13:6 - So that we may boldly say, The Lord [is] my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

1 Peter 5:7 - Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

Joshua 1:9 - Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God [is] with thee whithersoever thou goest.

Hebrews 13:5-6 - [Let your] conversation [be] without covetousness; [and be] content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

Romans 8:28 - And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose.

Psalms 55:22 - Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved. 

Here she is now, still mourning her husband of 40 years of marriage, passing away, leaving her alone to fight off the predators of the day, who seek after the vulnerable, defenseless widows who now have lost their “covering.” 

“You don’t love me!” She so boldly cried out in her anger toward her beloved Father in heaven.  Like a little child screaming in her pain, she wanted Him to take it away immediately, not knowing that brokenness creates the pure character of God.   

In this state, she was extremely susceptible to those pretending to be her friend, claiming even to be believers in Christ. She needed the Love and protection during this most vulnerable time in her life.  "Where did all her friends and family go?" She exclaimed in her lonelinesss.  It was as if they thought they could "catch" what she had in her grief. They didn't want any part of it. One of her sisters visited her from across the country. But other than that, no one came to encourage her or love on her. Where was her family? She had been abandoned by all those who were close to her . . .  except her son, and daughter.  

Her son and her daughter stuck to her like glue however. "Thank God I have them." She pondered what it would be like without them.

James 1:27

Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.

KJV

Emotionally, she could not handle all the stresses that come with death; the grief, the loneliness, and the pain in her body (for she had become disabled). She had to dissolve a business of 30 years; she had to pay off many debts including the hospital; she had to move away from her home into another home, and create a new life for her and her family. She had to sell property and things. IRS even audited her in her intense time of grief all in the first year of her husband's death! She was wide open to attack, for it is when the enemy comes in like a flood. . . but it's not over, until it's over! God will have the last say!

However, deep down in her heart, the Intercessor knew the truth, but the pain was too much for her and fear had crept in like a slithering python squeezing the hope right out of her. By all appearances, she was defeated and totally alone.  She had become an outcast, joining the exclusive club of widows with broken hearts, in deep mourning, struggling to make ends meet, lamenting over the sorrow, fighting off the wiles of the devil. Her friends and extended family totally abandoning her when she desperately needed them most!

She spent 6 times in the emergency ward at the hospital. The last time she almost died due to her broken heart.  Yes, you can die of a "broken heart."  It's hard to believe that those closest to her would leave her to war against the devil by her self. That morning, the Intercessor heard the small still voice of the Holy Spirit telling her to go to her cardiologist. In obedience, she called to set up an appointment, and of course, her doctor wasn't available. There happened to be, however, a "new" cardiologist who just joined the practise and was looking for clientel. He "happened" to have an 11:00 am space available. So she took it. The doctor's office "happened" to be right next to the hospital.

She collapsed in the doctor's office while there, and they monitored her (broken) heart. Her blood pressure had soared to 225/125. The nurses gave her three "sprays" of nitro-glycerin over a period of one hour to no avail. They immediately sent her to the emergency at the hospital to prevent . . . death. The Lord knew what was going on and He devinely intervened. It was not her time to go. 

Endlessly, it has been an excruciating two years of grief. "When will I stop feeling this pain!" She cried out in despair. "I want to forget this reproach of my widowhood!" She lamented. "Fill this deep void please, it was promised!" She had heard a Word from God before her husband had passed away and now desperately cried out to the Lord that God's word does not come back void any longer. In her exhaustion, she really wanted it. The Lord had directed her during prayer time to the following verses in the Bible:

Isaiah 54:4-8   4“Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.

5For your Maker is your husband—the Lord Almighty is his name—the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;he is called the God of all the earth.

6The Lord will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—

a wife who married young, only to be rejected,” says your God.

7“For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back.

8In a surge of anger I hid my face from you for a moment,

but with everlasting kindnessI will have compassion on you,”says the Lord your Redeemer.

"I want to forget this horrible time in my life God!" "Please God, help me to forget!"

 ...."I am watching over My word to perform it".... Jeremiah 1:12b NASB

It was time to rise up and climb out of her hole of self-pity and reach out to the only One who could help her at this time, just as He was always with her from the beginning of her life. Though He had revealed Himself to her countless times and had given her visions and numerous dreams of hope, she would waiver from time to time falling away from her relationship with the Lord over the years.  

As she struggled to ascend above the circumstances, she grasped for the only One who truly loved and cared about her, finally surrendering totally to Yahshua (Jesus), to her Abba (Father in Heaven) and to her Comforter (Holy  Spirit - Ruach HaKodesh). They were able to now help her resurrect back up above her circumstances once again and on the right path of healing. Forgiveness was her first step. The Lord would take her on through the necessary steps in His timing. 

It was time to go on with her life now (without her spouse). Yahshua is now her beloved "husband" according to the Word of God. She must put her trust in Him, and in Him alone. She has been diagnosed with Congestive Heart failure due to  stress-induced cardiomyopathy (broken heart syndrome) and must take life easier, spending time each day with the Lord surrendering her problems of the day to the only one she can trust. Her life has slowed way down since her husband's death. Her relationship with the Lord has become an intimate loving relationship now and she thanks Him every day for His goodness  with many tears flowing from His Love poured out to her. She is even grateful for the adversity. 

King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)

Romans 8:28

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

It seems that God had all the answers to her dilemmas throughout her life, even during this most sorrowful time of her existence on earth. Losing someone you deeply love is probably one of the most painful. God never left her nor forsook her thus far, and He will never do so in her future--even though all others will. So be encouraged beloved reader. He is no respecter of persons. He will do the same for you . . . only surrender and ask. 

 King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)

Matthew 11:28-30
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 

²⁹ Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

³⁰ For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

King James Bible


¹ The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;

² To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;

³ To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

⁴ And they shall build the old wastes, they shall raise up the former desolations, and they shall repair the waste cities, the desolations of many generations.

She is the one who has been directed to make this website for you Beloved! 

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